Cold-emails

Cold-emails are just like cold-calls: stressful, awkward, to the point, and not much fun to send or to read. Ugh.

I want to get inside a person's day. I'm a junior planner and I just want a response. This is my current format: who I am; just graduated; i've got tools; i'm ready to work; are you hiring; some cheezy "you inspired me" line; and hope to hear from you.

and nothing.....

so, what should my format be? what would I want to respond to?
ADDED VALUE FORMAT: hi, this is how I know you; so cool ________ (idea or campaign); intriguing question; who could I send my portfolio/resume to and their contact information?; great; enjoy this _______ picture or cool link

not sure, it's changing as we speak...